A woman whose s.e.x addiction spiralled to the point she slept with four men in a day says she ‘couldn’t function’ unless she knew when she was going to get ‘my next hit of s.e.x’.
Hook ups began to consume Frankie Considine’s life, taking precedence over her work and friends, but also placing huge strain on both her physical and mental health.
The now 28-year-old suffered with depression, multiple s.e.xually transmitted diseases and fell pregnant with no idea who the father could be, before eventually being diagnosed with s.e.x addiction.
Frankie would call in sick at her job and cancel social plans to ensure she was having s.e.x every day, leading to her sleeping with more than 130 men.
Having initially not known she was struggling with a recognised mental health condition, she believes her craving stemmed from dealing with her parent’s divorce and her difficult relationship with her body.
Her parents split up when she was 13, and Frankie told The Sun she would go online to talk to people for attention.
When s.e.xual attention came, she ‘clung onto it’ and lost her virginity when she was 14 before going into a long-term relationship, where she was unable to stay faithful.
It began to spiral out of control a few years later when her mum died from cancer, which she described as ‘life-shattering’, as reported by The Sun.
She dropped out of university and had the attitude ‘let’s go crazy’, sleeping with 80 men in the next three years, saying she used the intimacy that came with it to replace the loss of her mum.
At one point she slept with four men in 24 hours, but it wasn’t enough to make her stop.
“It was like that little quick fix – but I got so hooked on it,” she said.
“One weekend in 2012 I went to Brighton for a 21st birthday. I met one guy, he came to my hotel room and we had s.e.x. The following day I had a mechanic out to look at my car. I ended up sleeping with him and his friend, and later on that night I slept with someone else.”
Frankie never used any form of protection, including the pill, contracting the HPV warts virus and chlamydia twice in 2013.
Even when she began counselling for depression, men were still regularly visiting her home for s.e.x and she fell pregnant when she was 22.
She didn’t know who the father could be and made the difficult decision to have an abortion – a moment which proved to be a ‘wake up call’.
Before that she said she was ‘in a bubble’, and the consequences of her lifestyle resulted in her drastically reducing the amount of s.e.x she was having.
In 2014, she began an on-off relationship with a man she met on Tinder and fell pregnant before giving birth to a girl in 2018 – which she said was ‘very much planned’.
The relationship ended when their daughter was six months old and Frankie began to visit a new therapist for help before being diagnosed with s.e.x addiction at 26.
“The relief was incredible,” Frankie says. “Talking about it with my therapist, I realised none of it was my fault… I reckon there are loads of other people like me out there but they are too nervous to come forward.”
She believes there’s a lot of stigma around being a s.e.x addict, saying others think it’s an excuse, but needs to be more widely accepted as a ‘genuine illness’.
Frankie now uses EMDR, which helps people overcome the effects of psychological trauma, and is determined not to let her past hold her back.
She says she’s found new coping mechanisms, including exercise and meditation, and is dating again in the hope of finding love.